Dear Suzie
by Justicerocks
Summary: A look into the world of eight year old Jules Callaghan through her diary.
1. June 18th 1989

**A\N **I hope this sounds like something an eight year old would write I didn't want to put in any spelling mistakes but some of the grammer is off and the wording and orfering of words. I hope everybody likes it :D. I'm going to be pretty busy over the next few weeks but I'll try and update as soon as I can.

**Dear Suzie**

June 18th 1989

Hi Suzie,

My names Jules Callaghan and I'm eight years old well I just turned eight today's my birthday but I don't think anybody will notice. That's ok though it's been a long year. My Mommy died in March and I'm still really sad so is my Daddy that's why we had to move out into the country because my Daddy doesn't like the city anymore since it hurt Mommy. We live on a farm now out in the middle of nowhere away from everybody and everything. Today for the first time my older brother Mark woke me up really early so I could help with the chorus. All I got to do was feed the horses but I liked it a lot. I really like the horses I'm starting to learn how to ride them but it's not the same as back home. Daddy just decided to leave after quitting his job. My oldest brother Mattie said it was because Daddy was very sad after Mommy died. Daddy was really angry all the time for being so sad he started drinking grape juice and beer more and more and he hit Mattie, Mark, Jake and Andy more than he did when he wasn't drinking grape juice and beer. When he wasn't drinking Grape Juice and Beet he wasn't hitting them at all. Mattie, Mark, Jake and Andy are all of my older brothers. Mattie is fifteen, Mark is thirteen, Jake is eleven and Andy is nine. I'm eight so that makes me the youngest. I love my older brothers but they're annoying sometimes when they try and take care of me like Mommy used to. Last night I couldn't sleep so I snuck out of my room and I heard Mattie talking on the phone to somebody about getting Daddy some help and how I might have to be taking away. I don't know who Mattie was talking to but I don't want to be taking away. I can't lose my Daddy too. We're all getting help thought. At least we were before we moved. I was seeing a nice doctor who gave me this journal but I never had any time to write in you until now. I'll hope to have more time later.

Bye, Suzie

Jules

**A\N **Please review.


	2. June 20th 1989

**A\N **Thank you so much for all of the wonderful reviews, I love reading all og them :D. I really should be studying for my exams next week but I wanted a little break so I wrote a jounral entry for this story. There are some spelling mistakes and grammer errors but that's because this is suposed to writting by a eight year old. I hope nobody minds.

June 20th 1989

Hi Suzie,

Sorry I didn't have time to write in you yesterday. I was really busy helping outside. Mattie was lawn mowing, Mark was watering the plants and pulling them out and Jake and Andy were not really helping at all they just made Daddy really bad and he threw an empty beer bottle at Jake but it hit me instead. Then Daddy got mad at me because I didn't move then he started crying and he hugged me even though my eye was hurting and Mattie was screaming all kinds of bad words. After that I went to the hospital with Mattie and Andy and Mrs. Mcphee a really nice old women who lives down the rode. Her and Mattie were talking a long time and finally after I was waiting for along time Mrs, Mcphee told me that Andy and I were going to stay with her for the next weekend. I told her I didn't want to leave Daddy but she told me that it was what was best until Daddy got more help. I tried to tell her that Daddy was just sad but Mattie changed the subject. Then we went home to get a few of my things and when I tried to hug Daddy Mrs. Mchhee wouln't let me touch him. I don't like her very much Suzie. She's not very nice even though Mattie and Mark think she is. They're wrong. It wouldn't be the first time they we're wrong. They were wrong when I was born everyone thought I was going to be a boy but I wasn't because I don't like the name James very much it's weird. That would have been my name if I was a boy but boys are gross and icky they have boy germs. I wish you we're real Suzie I could use a friend right now. I wish I could talk to you more but Mrs. Mcphee is calling me for lunch. I promise to come back soon.

Jules Callaghan

**A\N** Please review! :D


	3. June 22nd 1989

**A\N **I am so, so sorry I have not been able to update in awhile I've been really busy but I was able to write yesterday. I hope everybody likes this chapter anc thinks I still sound like a eight year old girl. Any spelling and grammer mistakes you see are there on purpose becasuse Jules is supposed to be eight. I hope it doesn't bother anyone.

June 22nd 1989

Hi Suzie

Today alot of people came to see me at Mrs. Mcphee's house. My Daddy's old partner and best friend and all of my Mommy and Daddy's old friends from my old home all came. A really mean lady came too, she asked me and Andy alot of questions like if we were happy or sad? Then she asked me about Mommy. She wanted me to tell her if I missed her and what it made me feel like? I told her she was really stupid then she wrote it down and I threw a pillow at her. She didn't get mad though Daddy's friends wife came and talked to me she's really nice she was Mommy's best friend. They were both cops before they had kids. My best friend Bridgett is her daughter but Bridgett didn't come. I asked why and Aunt Mary said that it wasn't the place her het to be. But I'm here and I miss her. I miss alot of people Suzie I miss my Mommy, Bridgett and everybody back home. I miss Mattie, Mark and Jake too. I just want to see everybody sometimes and I want to hug Daddy I don't want him to be sad anymore and miss Mommy and I want people to stop getting mad at him, He's not doing anything wrong he just misses Mommy. I miss Mommy too. She was really pretty she had dark brown hair and brown eyes. She always let me play with her hair and carry shopping bags. One time she even let me stay up late with her to clean the kitchen and wash dishes that was on my sixth birthday I remember because she told me that I was a big girl and that I could help her. I wished I could have helped her when a car hit her car like bumper cars. When she died Daddy was all upset and I heard him telling Bridgett's dad that they should have kept the bad word who killed her. When I asked him what he meant he told me to go away and then Bridgett's dad took me upstairs away from all of the adults. I'm smart Suzie I think Daddy thinks it's his fault that Mommy died. I wish I could help him not think that, maybe then I'll be able to live with him and see him like I used too. I'm sorry I have to go now Suzie I'm supposed to be sleeping and Mrs. Mcphee is coming.

Bye, Suzie

Jules Callaghan

**A\N **Please review!


	4. June 25th 1989

**A\N I am so, so sorry I updated! I've been really busy with school work and sports but I promise I'll try and update more this week! :D**

**Spoilers: None**

**Warnings: Mention's child abuse and alcoholism **

June 25th 1989

Hi Suzzie

Today Uncle Davy and Aunt Mary came and said that Andy and me are going to go back home with them and Mattie, Mark and Jake are going to come tomorrow. That's where I am now Suzzie at Uncle Davy and Aunt Mary's house. I'm in Bridget's and Jessie's room but I'm all by myself because I don't like Uncle Davy, Aunt Mary, Bridgett, Jessie, Liam, Ricky and Christy anymore. They all took me away from Daddy when he was really sad. I think everybody's sad that Mommy died and everybody want's her back. Andy thinks that Aunt Mary and Uncle Davy blame Daddy for hurting Mommy and that's why they're taking us away. I think Andy's wrong Daddy never did anything to hurt Mommy he loved her and he's sad because she's gone. I wish this was a dream Suzzie I wish when I woke up I'd be home and I could run into Mommy and Daddy's room and give Mommy the biggest hug ever and then play with her hair and talk with her and go shopping and see Bridgett and play with her while we watch Jessie put on make-up and talk to Mattie and play with her hair. Then Jessie would chase us out of her room and tell us to go away. That's what happed in March the day Mommy died. It was snowing really hard that day Suzie I remember because Bridget and me didn't have school so on Daddy's way to work he took me to Bridget's and picked up Uncle Davy. It was really late and even though I told Mommy on the phone I could walk home she said no and said she'd pick me up. Bridgett and me were playing with Christy when the phone rang and Aunt Mary answered it then she was crying and shaking her head saying no and why and how I'm I supposed to tell her. Aunt Mary was talking to Uncle Davy about how Mommy had died. Suzie do you think it's my fault that Mommy died? I should have made her let me walk home. Daddy told me it was my fault one night after he drank alot of grape juice then he grabbed me to hug me but Mark pushed me away and got hugged really hard instead getting a black circle around his eye. It looked really funny when it changed colours Suzie but when I told him it was cool he told me it wasn't. Boy's just don't know cool. I'm sorry I have to go now Suzzie I'm just going to go into Bridget's bed and sleep until I can see Mommy again.

Jules Callaghan

**A\N I hope everyone liked it! :D Please review! :**


	5. June 26th 1989

**A\N **I am so, so sorry it has taken me so long to update I've been super busy and last week was just not a good week for me but hopefully I'll have time to update again before the end of the week. Anyways I hope everyone likes this.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Flashpoint

**Spoilers: **None

**Warnings: **Talk of abuse, death, murder, drinking and hospitalization.

June 26th 1989

Hi Suzzie

I hate Aunt Mary today she took me to see some really mean lady who kept asking me about Mommy and how I felt. Then she asked me about Bridgett and how I got along with her. I hated her a lot Suzzie you would to. Don't worry though I didn't tell her anything until she asked me about you. She wanted to see you Suzzie. I told her no because nobody gets to see you but me she said it might help me. I told her I hated her and I slammed the door to her room. I ran out of her room and I threw a book at Aunt Mary because she was going to let that mean lady take you away from me. I don't know if you know this Suzzie but when grownups say they want to see something they usually keep it. That's what Daddy did when Mark was failing out of school. Daddy had to take a way his basketball and Mark was really mad. I ran really fair Suzzie, out of that mean lady's office I ran out into the street before Aunt Mary ran and picked me up hurting my arm. She was in tears Suzzie and said she was mad. I told her I hated her and I wanted to see Mommy again and I told her that two times but she didn't say anything all the time home until Uncle Davey got home and told Uncle Davey that I needed more help. Help with what Suzzie? Andy told me Aunt Mary and Uncle Davy were going to send me to a clown house to live with circus people but I don't want that. I just want to see Mommy again Suzzie.

Jules Callaghan

**A\N **I hope you liked it :D Please review.


	6. June 30th 1989

**A\N **Wow, its been so long since I've updated this story. I'm really sorry about that. I hope everyone likes this chapter. Remember, Jules is only a little girl so the grammer mistakes are there on purpose and so is the wording. I'll probably be updating this story more often now so I hope you like it! :D

**Disclaimber: **I do not own Flashpoint, CTV, or CBS

**Spoilers: **None

**Warnings: **Talk of abuse

June 30th 1989

Hi Suzzie,

I hate Aunt Mary, your never going to believe what Aunt Mary did today. She took me back to see that mean lady who Aunt Mary said was a Social Worker. For somebody who is supposed to be social I don't like her very much Suzzie. She said she liked me though, I told her I hated her, she asked me about Daddy and about what he's been like since Mommy died. I told her he's just really sad and how he just wants Mommy back. Then she asked me about how he's been drinking beer and grape juice, I told her that grape juice was fine to drink and that it was healthy and she smiled and wrote something down. I tried to steal the piece of paper from her but she wouln't let me. She's a very mean lady, if Daddy knew Aunt Mary was taking me to her he would be very upset. Bridgett came this time only she got to stay with Aunt Mary, I don't like Bridgett very much anymore Suzzie. She's mean, I wish I could see Daddy again sometimes I cry for him and Aunt Mary and Uncle Davey tell me its okay, but its not okay. I hate it when adults say its okay when its always not, adults just like to pretend everythings perfect. Nonthing's perfect Suzzie I want to see my Mommy and Daddy again, I love them.

* * *

**A\N **Please review! :D


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